Video 5: How ya doin’?

A strategy, or really..more an idea, if the young person you are going to be talking with has been around the system for some time…and/or is grumpy about being here, maybe doesn’t want to talk with you…
This activity complements both Vid 6: ‘Park it…and talk’ and Vid 7: ‘Alert…advise.’ They are each stand-alone but make sense in a sequence from 5 to 7.

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Video 4: Two Envelopes (Prev Lesson)
(Next Lesson) Video 6: Park it and talk
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Comments ( 4 )

  • EmmaE

    I like this one. Is there a difference between saying “keep the answer to yourself” and saying I’m going to ask you 3 questions and “it is up to you whether you would like to answer them or not”?

  • Pete

    Hello EmmaE. There are a number of ideas that run through my work; and these are two of them:
    *to ask questions
    *to invite people to keep things to themselves.
    These two ideas, along with others, will surface over and again. And yep there is a difference between this activity and the activity ‘Hold that thought’ that you saw in Video 1. In that situation you invite a young person to think of 3 questions they want to ask YOU. In this activity here, YOU are doing the asking. The asking is reversed. So that’s the first difference.

    Secondly, the intentions and impact are different. In the first case, where a young person can keep the questions to themself, the aim is to share power in the conversation, with the young person deciding what questions to ask and IF they are asked at all. In the above activity, YOU ask the questions but the young person keeps the answers to themself, and in this case, you’re aiming to reduce the chances of inviting an F off response, because you’re not asking for an articulated response at all. And you ARE increasing the chances of a ‘positive’ response because you invite silence rather than conflict. Of course, you may still get the F you, but the chances are now lessened because you have avoided a confrontational conversation and despite the fact that ‘How ya doin’…?’ might seem pretty innocent, it can still be seen as an intrusion by someone ‘on their guard.’

    And finally, the questions ‘held’ by the young person in ‘Hold that thought’ could be anything at all, while the 3 questions you ask here are both deliberately simple and ordinary, and importantly, express interest in the welfare of the young person you are speaking with.

    There ya go! Hope that all makes sense. Thanks for the opportunity of being able to add something. Cheers. Pete

  • Joaiul

    hi Pete.. interesting.. I remember the ‘scales’ activities I used to use with young people in training centres.. which really helped with my work with them – really helped them think about their emotional barometers etc.. fantastic activity when working as a case manager and trying to design a specific care plan etc.. I got lots of information however, it was difficult to manage the emotions I elicited through these activities.. there were times when they felt very confronted by having to articulate their feelings.. I think, this is a way of ‘starting’ off a perhaps more intense process (like the scales and emotional barometers) first-time engagement and rapport building that asks them to think about important feelings of health and welfare but not having to share a response.. I think this would work well because of its simplicity.. thanks again .. Joanna

  • Petersla

    Joaiul. Simplicity appeals to me. And we embed the less-simple stuff within the simple, and create a route to that territory. Ta for your comment. Best! Pete

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Peter Slattery
Role : Presenter
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